No point holding on so much when i know it's futile going back to the past.
Holding on or not, days will still past.
Sad, happy, or angry, it doesnt matter.
Probably you've made the right choice of leaving.
Wasted your time and emotions.
Will i still be forgiven?
Will you give me a chance to apologise?
Goodbye, for real.
It's been sometime.
Or should i say a very long time.
It dint start well.
And it dint end well, neither.
No. It dint start at all.
Well, im confused.
I'm not given a chance to explain my doing.
I bet you think it's unacceptable.
All im capable of was hurting you.
I dint know until you left.
It hurts me!
I was pretending that it dint affect me at all.
But, whenever im alone...
emotion fills me up.
I was sad and mad.
The only time im aware of how you feels is when you started to become even quieter.
Ignoring everyone.
That was the part when i cant do anything.
I was trying to prevent you from getting hurt because of me.
That will be the last thing i ever want it to happen.
But still, it happened.
Sometimes i thought if there's a small and short distance between us,
you wont get hurt.
I was wrong.
I neglected.
I thought of doing a cover.
So that people wont notice that much.
And i ended up neglecting you.
It doesnt matter now.
It's all over, isn't it?
You no longer care.
I've got the same treatment as you.
I was neglected.
I was abandoned.
I tried texting you.
Trying to keep in touch with you.
But everytime i tried doing that,
i ended up feeling really sad.
I was so furious.
You wont tell me what you are thinking.
You dint even tell me why you've changed.
A SUDDEN CHANGE.
And now that i know you are happy with your life.
Or maybe even happier.
I think you do not want me to be in your life.
From the beginning, i've told you.
You will regret. I even guaranteed that with you.
You told me you wont regret. YOU WILL NEVER REGRET.
But you did.
Eversince then...
i started reminiscing the past we've been through.
I missed it.
you lefted me,
without a word.
I still cant let it go.
I'll try to, though.
Still hoping you will come back.
Yeah, im trying to lie to myself.
Goodbye, A.
I did like you before.
You are the 1st i felt like this for.
You are the person i like.
- Mood:
morose - Music:New moon meadow
- Mood:
cheerful
Presents from friends and relatives.
- Mood:
crappy
AGAIN!
And i've got second thought of changing back to blogspot.
Well, its simply my computer problem!
- Mood:
frustrated
My body is aching, so is my eyes.
I've not been sleeping early and enough due to reading of my current favourite series after Twilight Saga. But still, i love Twilight Saga!
I've been reading the series of House Of Night by P.C Cast and Kristin Cast. 
I'll update on this in the next post.
But i might change blog~~
- Mood:
contemplative
I'll update photos in the next post. Still collecting photos from others.
[Liling's birthday, My birthday and Family outing]
There will be lots and lots of photos. I love my blog with photos.
Yesterday, i went to Market to have lunch with Chunhao. At the same time, buy groceries to fill the fridge up. She came to my house and we tried to do our own brushes using adobe but i dint really work out well. But i still manage to make a "CULLEN" brush. Not really nice but good attempt. HAHA!
Then we cooked together. She joined us for dinner and watched "Stardust" together. There are some parts of the movie that are hilarious but they are not as hilarious as it is when you watch someone getting startled by the movie which is not HORROR. HAHA! Slacked around and headed back home, she did. Great time to pass just like that.
I've been going out much with Yiting to westmall and her house the last week. I was soooo damnn bored staying at home alone.
I've also been blogshopping too much and almost spent most of my allowance on that. That shouldn't be the way. I must really reflect on that. But..... question is... will i??
I did tell myself not to buy too many or spend too much this month. But i....iiiiiii...... well you know, things aren't going the way it is. An excuse for myself, that is uniform for my poly schooling.
Good news for me, my aunt sponsored me to Yoga class! At least i can spend a day of a week doing something good, healthy, fun and meaningful. Not staying at home rot and get fat.
Worst.... i've got to plan my time properly to get my check-up done ASAP. You wont want to do it because its sickening~ Time consuming and boring. But good to know how your health is.
Im getting my other VAMPYRE BOOK, "MARKED". Its not as interesting as Twilight. But its still interesting. HAH! Im getting my second, third and fourth book soon.
I seriously need to sleep early. Im having panda eyes!!!! I dont used to have during my sec life.
- Mood:
naughty - Music:Yimaru - River flows in you
WHAT A LIFE I'VE GOT? LAUGH OUT LOUD!
DAMN IT!
HOW MANY TIMES MUST HAPPEN IN ORDER FOR HIM TO STOP ALL THE SHIT OUT OF HIM!
IS THIS REALLY ALL HE KNOWS HOW TO DO?
I'VE TRIED, I REALLY HAVE TRIED.
I tried so many times to talk to him, i even put my pride down just for him! I've never been so good and polite to anyone in my life. Not even my dad or mom.
Damn it, he just did it. He just stepped on to my pride and pull me down. But this doesnt stop me from treating him better.
All he knows or remembered was WE( definitely including me ) treating him bad. Or worst, ABUSE HIM if he like that word.
No matter what we do ( all for the sake of him, ONLY HIM ), he thinks we are ill-treating him.
Words/things that are good for us, always DOESNT SOUND NICE.
But they are so damn good for us. Its just that we love to listen pleasant stuff.
Herbal tea are good for us, but its doesnt taste nice AT ALL.
Lecturing doesnt sound nice, but it wakes us up.
Even the radio advertisements showing people ONLY LISTEN TO GOOD STUFF.
I meant who the heck will listen to things they dislike?? Damn it, tell me if there is someone.
Those monster friends that he had are all SWEET-TALKER that wore a mask.
Infront of you, speaking nice, flattering you. But at the back, you dont know how many times you've been back-stabbed. MY BROTHER.....
he was being used up by his monster friends, yet he still think those monster friends are true friends.
His monster friends used his name to buy alcoholic drinks and pay later. His monster friends said they will pay for the alcoholic drinks. So my dumb, stupid,retarded brother BELIEVED them.
So they drank and drank and drank. In his mind " WAAAHHH, my brothers so good. Treat me drink leh!"
Chinese saying : 人家出钱你出命.
But his so call "brothers", monster friends, did not pay up. They even denied of buying the drinks because its not their name that they wrote. COOL, isnt it?
Then the shop called my dad. Asking my dad to pay him the debt.
How clever my is.brother
How many times i've tried to protect my properties. It failed.
So i tried to capture the thief. So that my properties will be safe. Not just my properties but MY FAMILY.
But i was always drawn back. There's always a group of idiots saying that im trying to be stupid.
BUT HAVE THEY EVER THOUGHT OF ME??
Im their DAUGHTER, NIECE AND GRAND-DAUGHTER.
Have they ever know how i feel?
Do they think i'll be glad if i see
If they are other choice to make, i'll be glad and jolly well do so. But there isnt any.
My aunts always tell me to talk nicely to my brother, treat him good.
DAMN IT, I DID. DINT YOU GUYS SEE?
ALL YOU GUYS SAW WAS JUST AN OUTER COVERING. I WAS ALWAYS SHOWN TO BE THE BAD ONES.
HEY, IM TRYING TO PROTECT YOU GUYS,OKAY! WHY CANT YOU GUYS SEE THIS FACT. THIS BLOODY STUPID FACT.
Whenever i talk to him nicely, he doesnt appreciate. He still continues doing things that are wrong which he thinks are right. HE LIES! HE'S A BIG FAT LIAR.
SERIOUSLY, I REALLY THINKS MY FRIENDS REALLY KNOW ME WELL THAN MY FAMILY.
They vent anger together with him. Not like my family. THEY SCOLD ME! WELL DONE! EXCELLENT! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! CONTINUE DOING SO LOR, YOU WILL DEFINITELY LOSE ONE PERSON. 1 MORE LESS DOESNT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE,RIGHT?
SINCE IM SO INDEPENDENT AT THE STARTING, I'LL CONTINUE DOING SO. I THINK YOU GUYS WILL BE GLAD, RIGHT?
Im expecting my family to be on the same line with me. But they just care for my brother. Am i invisible?
Does this show that i've got to turn bad in order for you guys to notice me and concern about me? IS IT?
CAN YOU GUYS JUST TELL ME!!!!!
DO YOU KNOW IM SOOOOOOOO HEART-BROKEN WHEN I HEAR AND SEE YOU GUYS CARING ONLY FOR HIM!
IF ITS LIKE THIS, I SHOULDNT BE IN THIS
- Mood:
indescribable
pIm not dead~~ Just been lazy to update.
I've got a lot to say but I dont know where to start.
Last week... last week... What did i do?
Oh!! Last week was new year! Happy chinese new year!
Though its not a good year for "Goat 'people' ". But still, its not gonna stop the earth from turning, time from stopping. Life still have to go on. I was terribly sick. No one was at home, i was having fever. Needed help but no one was there. SO SAD!
But after a few days, i went Kbox with my sister and haohao. SOOO SHIOK~~ I brought along panadol for incase of sudden fever. And my throat was sooo painful yet i went singing. HAHA!
I losed money and won money during this new year. All thanks to Yiting, i was able to win some money.
OOOPPSS~~~~ gamble =X
YESTERDAY, yesterday,yesterday... was my best day of month.
I went out with my 3 besties. Its been.... how many months-??- since the last time we go out TOGETHER. And i bought a lot of Tee-shirts. HAHA! I spent too much. Too much for a no income person.
Today's planning was very last minute. After using the computer in the afternoon. suddenly i craved to swim. HAHA! Its very random, i know. So i went there alone. First attempt, i like it. Wanted to swim longer but the sky is turning grey. After my dinner, i went jogging with Rafiuddin around my school walking path. It was great, though my legs are aching now.
And for tomorrow, im going jogging with Yiting. WOW!! Hope i can really jog with crampy legs.
Oh, im also planning for my 18th birthday party. Not really a party. I would say a gathering. Ya, much more a gathering. A gathering of my friends and family. Cool, i cant wait for 15th Feb. I know its 5 days before my birthday. But i think its the only day i choose.
PHOTOS TIME~!
Im downloading Auditionsea, but its so slow and i want to sleep. Its only 35%. >.<
- Mood:
hyper - Music:Leona lewis - Run
Haven been blogging for 2 weeks. OMG! Did i broke my previous record?? LOLS!
The job contract is over, im jobless now. Yet, im spending so much money on clothing. I've shopped too much>.<
I've got to give my dad $400 bucks and $50 bucks for some birthday party. Everything is money!!!
Yesterday, i went to Marina Square to return my swap card together with Yiting. After that, we went to Bugis to shop for CNY clothing. Nothing much there but i still bought 2 tee-shirt and a blouse. Then, i bought a ring at Diva and Yiting bought a bracelet.
On tuesday, i went out with my JL girls. We went to Jurong Point. We were late but not the last to reach there! HAHA! Then, we headed to Pizzahut for our lunch. Then to JohnLittle. OMGOMGOMG!! They actually spent half of their day in JL. Shopping for stuffs. I got bored and headed for some window shopping with Yiting. ANNNDDD eventually i managed to buy an OP tee-shirt. HAHA! Then we headed to Westmall. I bought for my sister, her hamster food and ate dinner there.
SADD,, i cut my toe while moving a sharp and heavy rack. Now i've got difficulties wearing my shoes, slippers and heels. COOL, isnt?
Just now went to Westmall ALONE! First attempt! I found it rather pleasant. I quite like it. Nobody will be waiting impatiently outside while you are trying your clothes.....ETC...
I bought a black blouse for myself. A yellow converse polo tee and Omega 3 for my dad. Cost me a BOMB!
And i forgotten to take my lunch!! =.=
- Mood: crappy
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